"ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS" 1. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either". 2. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 3. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 4. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power . 5. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. 6. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read. 7. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 8. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 9. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 10. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 11. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes. 12. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. 14. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 15. Father : A banker provided by nature. 16. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. 17. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.