"ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS"

1.       Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of
the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the
minds of either".

2.       Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.

3.       Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

4.       Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is
defeated by feminine water-power .

5.       Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
& everybody disagrees later on.

6.       Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

7.       Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.

8.       Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.

9.       Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.

10.   Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

11.   Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

12.   Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.

14.   Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.

15.   Father : A banker provided by nature.

16.   Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.

17.   Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you
are early.